While we surf the Internet visiting the many websites, and seek answers and information on how best to live our lives. As we obsessively consume information from our computers with our perceived more open society, of social networking and discussion rooms. Drawn into a Cyberspace of sharing and socializing, with those we have never met, or individuals we barely know. An age where our cell-phone is like an appendage, while keeping us continuously connected to others, as we share our many stories. While we navigate our lives in this digital age is technology contributing negatively to digital dating abuse. With the increase to one in three adolescents a victim of digital-dating abuse, is technology highlighting this social problem. Is the digital world making us more aware, or is it making it worse with the instant messaging, and openness of our social activities. The increase in digital devices and social networking is contributing to the dynamics of dating abuse. Our open society is exposing many issues that were once kept behind closed doors. We have to accept that these issues are problematic, and we can no longer live in denial. As a mother of two girls I am concerned that the Center for Disease Control and Prevention has stated that domestic violence is a major health and safety issue. Previous statistics stated that one in four women will be victimized in their lifetime, and with the introduction of technology this abuse appears to be increasing. My efforts over the last few years in awareness campaigning have highlighted to me, that many don’t know what abuse is. To fully comprehend digital dating abuse we have to look at the many layers, while acknowledging the debilitating effects it has on those caught in the violence. Adolescents are at an enormous risk in connection with digital dating violence despite the numerous websites campaigns, and information directed at parents, schools and teens. Statistics are supporting that this is a major social problem, and technology is contributing negatively to the psychological health of many teens, and young adults when it comes to dating. The increase in digital devices is adding a complexity to digital dating abuse by making the abuse more public. The devices are being used in cyberbullying, sexting and constant harassment through messaging either via email or texts. The CDC published, that between 9% and 35% of adolescents have been a victim of “electronic aggression.” There are many web sites and an IPhone app educating adolescents and parents on the dangers of digital dating abuse; however, the statistics are increasing. As the statistic rise is the problem getting worse, or is the increased awareness and reporting highlighting the issue. As we move into the 21st century intimate partner violence is still a taboo subject, and one that is still kept in the dark. Intimate partner violence has been around for centuries and is usually shrouded in secrecy, an accepted part of partner roles incorporating old accepted social norms. Times have changed and this abuse has become more sophisticated, and a complex psychological game played between partners. The cycle of abuse is being passed down from generation to generation, and the age of victims getting younger. In a recent study reported by Cynthia Johnston, "One in Six, Seventh Graders are Victims of Dating Violence.” This newspaper article highlights an alarming statistic that our tweens are being victimized through digital dating violence. The information in this article was taken from a survey conducting by The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and Blue Shield of California. The study provides us with evidence, that children as young as 12 are being victimized through digital devices. As a mother of a 12 year old this article necessitates the importance of addressing teen dating violence before dating begins, and to educate on healthy relationships before our children are in a dangerous manipulating situation. Once an abusive relationship is created it is very difficult as a parent to intervene without alienating the child, further rendering us powerless in breaking a cycle. In some instances abuse between the parents prevents a representation of a healthy relationship. The children learn by influencing gender stereotyping and generationally bad relationships; furthermore, perpetuating the cycle of violence. There are many authors and individuals highlighting the complexity of intimate partner violence. Through education it is important to understand that abuse is not just a physical attack, and that the non-physical abuse has many psychological levels that can render an individual in a state of hopelessness even though they have no bruises. Dr Jill Murray is a member of the advisory board for A Thin Line, MTV’s digital dating abuse awareness campaign web site. She is a leading expert in teen dating abuse, with appearances on more than 350 television shows, personal interviews on radio stations, and newspaper and magazine publications, both nationally and in Canada. Murray addresses abuse in her books, But I Love Him, Destructive Relationships, But He Never Hit Me—The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to girls and women, which has been a best-seller. These credentials also qualified her to appear before congress in Washington, DC with regards to a Teen Dating Violence Bill. Murrays book But He Never Hit Me is a good reference to the complexity of verbal and emotional abuse, sexual abuse and coercion, and why girls choose abusive relationships. The purpose of her book is to educate on the issues of teen dating abuse against girls. She reminds us that we have “free will,” and that we are “active participants” in the abuse even if we are blinded by perception, and that we can choose to be “the victim or we can be victorious,” by leaving an abusive relationship. We do have the ability to choose to leave, if empowered to do so. Murray also points out that we have control over our own thoughts, our own feelings, and our own behaviors; therefore, we have control over the issues relating to digital dating abuse, and the ability to not accept abusive behavior. She also sheds light on non-physical abuse that can leave internal psychological scars. Even though her book does not address the digital side of dating directly it does explain dating abuse. Through Murray's information we can established the complexity of non-physical and physical abuse; in addition, according to Violence Against Women (VAW) 93% of adolescents are said to have electronic devises such as cellphone, computer, Ipad. This is evidence of our new way of living and socializing, by maintaining relationships online through increased public communities like Facebook and MySpace, and communication through instant messaging, video, and photo sharing. The negative impact is a more instantaneous vehicle to victimize and abuse, by sexting, constant messaging and harassment; in addition, the ability to locate and stalk victims using the GPS systems within the digital devises, and the location feature on Facebook is contributing to abuse. The CDC reported the following statistics from surveys. One in ten teens have had an intimate partner demand access to social media sites, or have been told to have people un-friended, or manipulated to even close the accounts altogether. The CDC also reported that teens have been victimized 25% in chat rooms, 23% on websites, and 67% via instant messaging, 25% via email, 16% via text messaging. Despite digital devises and social networks being used negatively the transparency of society is exposing these major issues. With the exposure we can now address the problem through awareness campaigning, which is resulting in higher statistics due to increased education, awareness, and increased reporting. There are numerous news reports of abuse and domestic violence around our nation and in our schools; in addition, the reported risky behavior by teens exposing them selves online. Instances of domestic violence like the one reported by Nina Burleigh who writes for People magazine in 2007. A true story of one girls fight against an abusive boyfriend, and how the parents were powerless against the abuse. The relationship eventually ended in a dangerous physical attack, after coercion and the classic cycle of violence. It also explained how peers ostracized the girl at school, by blaming her for both the boyfriend’s expulsion, and the incident. This is a classic dating highlighting the difficulties around dating abuse faced by the victim, the parent’s and friends. This story although maybe biased to the girl’s side is an example of what happens when a teen is faced with an abusive boyfriend, and although not quantifiable, how peers can perpetuate the abuse even when the victim tries to leave. As parents it is important to be aware of our child's grades, and social activities to lower the risk of abuse. We need to be informed on what abuse looks like; in order, to help without alienating our children if this becomes their world. While looking at how technology is being used in society Claire Draucker and Donna Martsolf look into the ways technology is being used in digital dating abuse, and present examples where electronic aggression played a significant role. Their article "The role of Electronic Communication Technology in Adolescent Dating Violence,” written in 2010 for the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychic Nursing, addresses electronic aggression. The purpose of the study was to identify how technology is used in digital dating violence. Their results found that the use of cell phones was the “modality for carrying out verbal aggression,” such as messages of threats to harm, abusive and vulgar language. There was also an instance of a “hate web site” set up with invitations to fellow teens to participate in the aggression, as well as individuals hacking into social media sites to spy on victims. The study was able to identify ways technology was being used in digital dating violence; however, was not able to establish to what extent the problem is. Devices and social media are being used extensively in "electronic aggression" which is defined as “ any type of harassment or bulling, including teasing, telling lies, making fun of, making rude and mean comments, spreading rumors, making threatening or aggressive comments that occurs through email, chat-room, instant messaging, a Web site or text message.” Through this information we have established adolescents are primarily using digital devises to communicate, and socially interact with peers. We have also established that the devices are being used to manipulate and control within dating relationships. In addressing digital dating violence we also need to look at normal adolescent behavior and the role of the Internet in teen life. The 21st century brings a different world for teens, yet there are some aspects of adolescent behavior that will always be the same. Risk taking is one of those behaviors that we will always be aware of. Murray discussed “behavior was a choice” in her book, and we do have control over our behavior, thoughts and feeling. In making our behavior a choice, we can then establish that teens have the choice to take risks, and those risks have consequences, which are more exposed in our transparent society. Chris Atkinson and David Newtons article "Online Behaviors of Adolescents: Victims, perpetrators and Web 2.0," looks at what adolescents are using the Internet for. In looking at technology and its effects on teen dating violence Atkins and Newton describe the challenges with the rapidly changing technology world and adolescent behavior. Their article for the Journal of Sexual Aggression in march, 2010, states risk taking in adulthood is discouraged; however, risk taking in adolescence is a necessary way to find identity, and a normal activity for many. The risk taking mentioned by Atkins and Newton that “adolescence are producing and distributing sexually explicit material them selves” is opening the door for predators, and for abuse. This risky behavior carries stiff consequences, where in some states charges in pornography require jail time and registration as a sex offender, and at thirteen or fourteen this can create major issues for their future. The feeling of anonymity of the Internet is adding to the issue, and once explicit information is released the adolescent has no control over the distribution. Adolescents appear to be unaware of the impact of taking these risks will have on them. Issuing consequences through the courts and labeling these individuals may not be the right deterrent. We should be looking at what is driving the behavior, and addressing the issue within our schools and society. The information highway has its advantages and as a society we can find a wealth of information on the Internet; however, as adults we have the ability to decipher what is real. It is important at this point to discuss, that the sources are not always supporting of healthy adolescent behavior. You can find information supporting anything you wish from how to commit suicide, making guns to promoting anorexia and bulimia, along with the risky solicitation by pedophiles of pornography from adolescents. Maria McLain and Angelo P Giordano discuss many of these issues in their article "Internet Poses Multiple Risks to Children and Adolescents." They discuss the safety issues around the information on the Internet, and how children and adolescent can access articles that could be harmful. This article highlights the unreliability of information on the Internet, and how an adolescent can use the Internet to their advantage unhealthily, depending on where they are psychological. They could be looking for an escape from their world either through a relationship online that is fictitious, but makes them feel good, or from an escape from life through suicide. Disturbingly there are articles promoting such behavior. There is a growing amount of information posted to the Internet, for one article you find against you can find another for; therefore, as adolescents it is critical to distinguish what is accurate. Digital dating abuse is prevalent within our society, and technology is being used to victimize. With surveys and statistics showing that one in three teens are victimized, what is technology doing to combat this major social issue. Society has become more open with the increase of digital devices, and the information on the Internet is readily accessible. The social network sites have become a place to talk and share. There is evidence of information on digital dating violence scattered all over the Internet, of corporations and individuals looking to make a difference. The public-ness is having a positive effect and is waking us up to issues facing both adults and teens. The awareness campaigning is making us look at the lives we live, and why we need to make changes, for not only our selves but our kids too. There are many websites against bullying, domestic violence and teen dating violence. The web site Love is Not Abuse is a collaborative effort between Liz Claiborne Inc. and experts in the field of teen dating abuse. The web site contains updated statistics on teen dating violence that are being referenced by many other organizations; in order, to address the importance of teen digital dating abuse, and how prevalent the issue is. Their press release page issued a report in September 2011: "new survey reports 43% of dating collage women have experienced violent and abusive dating behavior." The new statistics shows that one in three college women report having been a victim of an abusive dating relationship, and 52% know of a friend who has experienced dating violence. These statistics were in collaboration with Universities, professionals and educators around the country within the field of domestic violence, who want to bring the statistic more up to date, as the current reporting is ineffective. With these new statistics Dr Karen Singleton, director of sexual violence response, responded to the information "this survey expands on earlier reports and reinforces the complexity of the issue." Love is Not Abuse has a number of programs along with the first curriculum to be used in schools and universities around the country; in addition, a cell phone application, which educates parents and loved ones of the many variations of abuse and what it might feel like. Bernd Debusmann discussed this IPhone app in his article "App Educates Parents About Teen Digital Dating Abuse" for Reuters in August 2011. With its release in 2011 the IPhone App contains information, and a simulator to show what abuse looks and feels like to the victim. The IPhone app simulator is an effective tool, and after trying it once my whole body felt so elevated, that the idea of this kind of abuse being inflicted on my child was highly motivating. The desire to educate children on the Duluth equality wheel, and what to look for before they even enter any relationship. Debusmann also stated that we are more likely as adults to address sexual activity, drugs and alcohol with our kids before we will address dating violence. Are we as parents really too scared to talk about this subject. The base of the fear maybe because the information may expose our own relationships, which may be riddled with abuse, and in accepting this information we could compromise our own safety. There are a number of awareness campaigning websites fighting against digital dating violence. MTV has created A Thin Line, which is directed at teens to address the issues of sexting, cyberbullying, and digital dating violence. Within the list of sponsors were a number of corporations including Facebook, and the NAACP the nation's renowned civil rights organization. Love is Respect has a peer advocate live chat help line, where you can ask many question, either for you or your friend relating to abuse, and what you can do to help. The sponsors for this site are: The US Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women: Liz Claiborne Inc.: The Health Care Service Corporation, and its Blue Cross Blue Shield plans in Illinois, New Mexico, Oklahoma and Texas: Verizon, and a division of Avon Products. Breaking the Cycle is on line non-profit organization, which has programs to educate and bring an end to dating violence. They state that dating violence is a "silent epidemic" since a majority of teens will not report abuse, whose mission is to " engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free of domestic Violence." That’s Not Cool is an animated site, which adds a more visual effect of bringing awareness of digital dating violence by using fun characters and proposing questions in a story like format. With these sites and the app there is a presence online to address digital dating violence. In addition major corporations are adding their name as sponsors. Despite the numerous website campaigns and information directed at parents, schools and teens, adolescents are still at an enormous risk in connection with digital dating violence. Statistics are supporting that this is a major social problem, and technology is contributing negatively to the psychological health of many teens and young adults when it comes to dating. Love is Not Abuse stated that 58% of students would not know where to get help highlighting the fact, that the information is not getting to the audience it was intended. There are steps being made to counter balance the negative impact of technology on digital dating abuse, but more needs to be done. The openness of social networks is making our negative social issues transparent, and the complicated issue of teen dating violence is now very public. Jeff Jarvis an author of Public Parts: How Sharing in the Digital Age Improves the Way We Work and Live discusses the positive effect the digital age is having on society, and that it’s improving our lives by opening society to create community, and expresses we should share if it enhances the lives of others. In sharing stories and enlisting the adolescents in this issue, and the awareness campaigning we can have a bigger impact. While children as young as twelve have been victimized further illustrates the need to incorporate some form of empowerment, and healthy relationship education much sooner. Incorporating healthy relationship education early in a child's life will combat the many issues of bullying, teen dating violence and in later life the possibility of intimate partner violence, in doing so creating a more peaceful world free of fear and violence. Cited Work A Thin Line. MTV, Viacome Media Networks, 7 Oct 2009. Web. 28 Mar. 2012. Atkinson, Chris, and David Newton. "Online Behaviors of Adolescents: Victims, perpetrators and Web 2.0." Journal Of Sexual Aggression 16.1 Mar. (2010): 107-20. ProQuest Research Library. Web. 2 Apr. 2012. Center for Desease Control And Prevention. USA.gov, 5 Dec. 2011. Web. 2 May 2012. Burleigh, Nina. "A High school Students Nightmare: Dating Violence." People 10 Sept. 2007: 99-104. Web. 2 Apr. 2012. Debusmann, Bernd. "App Educates Parents About Teen Digital Dating Abuse." Reuters 11 Aug. 2011. Web. 2 Apr. 2012. Draucker, Claire, Burke, and Donna Martsolf. "The role of Electronic Communication technology in Adolescent Dating Violence." Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing 23.31 Aug. (2010): 133-42. ProQuest Research Library. Web. 28 Mar. 2012. Jarvis, Jeff. Public Parts: How Sharing in the Digital Age Improves the Way We Work and Live. New York. Simon & Shuster. 2011. Print. Johnston, Cynthia. "One in Six, Seventh Graders are Victims of Dating Violence, survey." Thompson Reuters 29 Mar. 2012. Web. 2 Apr. 2012. Love is Not Abuse. Liz Claiborne INC, 2012. Web. 28 Mar. 2012. Love is Respect. National Dating Abuse Hotline, 2011. Web. 28 Mar. 2012 McColgan, Maria D, and Angelo P Giardino. "Internet Poses Multiple Risks to Children and Adolescents." Pediatric Annals 34.5 May (2005): 405-14. ProQuest Research Library. Web. 28 Mar. 2012 Murray, Jill, Dr. But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from controlling, Abusive Dating relationships. First ed. New York: HarperCollins. 2001. N. pag. Print.
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